Dating is quite the risky business. The most unexpected things happen or the things you planned for just don’t seem to be happening. There are people who are into seriously committed relationships, people who just one have fun and people who take dating as a game and are ready to play anyone under any circumstances. Today, we focus on men who use the internet and online dating sites as a hunting ground for women. Men who can’t seem to get enough from a decent relationship and instead trick several women into thinking they mean something to him, while they treat them like commodities that can be used and thrown out.
So what exactly is a player and how can you spot him before he drags you into his game and leaves you heartbroken at the end? Let’s start with clearly defining what a player is. A player is someone out there who’s never satisfied with one person and keeps his options open. He’s ready to move from one person to another because he’s never satisfied with what he has on his hands. He likes to explore things but tends to get bored easily. The gentleman who couldn’t take his eyes off of you in the beginning is nowhere to be found after some time. But don’t feel bad. It may not be your fault. That’s just who he is.
There isn’t no written guide as to what exactly is a cyber-player but there are definitely clues that can give you a signal. First and foremost, don’t disregard that little voice at the back of your head that screams “Danger”, intuition may not always point out to the right thing but it doesn’t hurt to be attentive to it.
You’ve stumbled upon a profile of this unbelievably hot guy who just seems to have everything going great for him. He has an amazing job, volunteers at a care center for elderly people and loves spending time with his little nephews and nieces. And let’s not forget, his profile picture is super-hot but going through his profile you think to yourself “this is just good to be true”.
There are men out there who are just the very definition of perfect and who have everything going right for them but it won’t hurt to be cautious about someone who seems to be taking the adorning thing a bit too far.
And there are those that put on the shortest and vaguest profile about their intentions. They leave you wondering what their long term plans are or what they intend to get out of a relationship. And these you should be really careful with because they either aren’t sure for themselves as to what they want or they don’t want to publicly say that they are in there to pick up the hottest chicks available every week.
A man who is serious about a genuine relationship will make his intentions clear and state what he’s looking for.
Past the ones with conspicuous or doubtful profiles, there are cyber-paths that are more interested in your bodies than anything else. They seem to be complimenting you more on how you look on that sexy dress, ask to see a revealing or nude picture or just always seem to be driving your conversations straight to sex. Unless you’re there for the same reason, this is a straight forward indication that this guy is just here for one thing and one thing only.
After an interesting chat for a few days or weeks, you think you should meet in person but every time you bring up the idea, he seems to have an excuse for not being able to make it. – Busy at work/school. Going away with friends. Terrible cold – Once or maybe twice might not signal his “player” intentions but when it seems to be a trend that doesn’t seem to change, forget him, there’s definitely someone out there who won’t think twice about spending time with you.
These guys may not say no in direct response to your insistence, instead they wait for the last minute to cancel your plan. Who knows, maybe one of many other girls he’s been going after for a while has finally agreed to meet him. But once again, a one-time thing may not say much but a repetition of excuses is definitely a warning sign.
He is juggling women like crazy. This guy is too busy going out with five women in seven days. To him there’s plenty of fish in the sea, so why stick with one when you can indulge in various kinds and numbers. He’s never available on your choice of date, only he picks the dates and locations. After all, he is quite the busy fella.
Online Profile ≠ Offline personality
You start chatting with the guy but you catch him a few times saying things that seem to contradict the things he has put on his profile, that’s a little red flag right there. You might go ahead and ask him, “But I thought you said you liked…” and his response will either guarantee your suspicions or assure you that it was a decent mistake.
Cyber dating enthusiasts
Men who have spent a lot of years as members of several dating sites might not be a great catch, despite their decorated profiles. According to Shanaka Thanapathy, a write on the australiantimes, “If someone is looking for a serious relationship they will either have found someone within a year or given up for a while on the dating scene. They will have cancelled their subscription or switched to another site or at least had a very long period of inactivity.”
And these are only a few cues…
Ladies, remember there’s no exact indication of which signs that signal a cyber-player. It can be different from one person to another, depending on their personalities, attitude, experience or their end game. If you’re looking for Mr. Right online, just make sure that he’s not some good-for-nothing loser that’s just wasting your time. Keep yourself from sharing too much information all in the beginning and raising expectations until you are ABSOLUTELY sure that you’re talking to a genuine man with similar intentions.